Couple Counselling and Communication informed by the Autonomic Nervous System
In the couple relationship, the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) plays a very informative role. Communication deteriorates when stress and therefore a sympathetic ANS response is triggered.
Stress in the couple relationship is usually triggered by transference, whereby one of the couple is suddenly reminded of a similar dynamic to an early key relationship. This results in either escalation or withdrawal. In other words a fight/flight response.
In couple therapy we slow down the interactions and address the fight/flight and the original trauma being triggered. By working together the Ventral Vagus Nerve is activated, resulting in a relaxation by a parasympathetic response by the ANS.
Jesus himself brings this parasympathetic response to his disciples in John 16.33.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
All Bible quotations are from the NIV.
Susie Scott Kydd. Copyright 2025